"Read This Book Because You'll Never See The Movie"
			- an excerpt from a book in progress. Your comments are welcome!
				See What You See Ben Lindgren's Paintings
		Years ago  at the Marin flea market and this guy came up to me knowing I was a filmmaker and offered me a box of 16mm movies. They were made by Joel Katz and were mostly 60s anti war films or politically related. I felt sad realizing his life's work had ended up at a flea market. It always been important to me to preserve all this odd ball stuff made outside of the mainstream - be it music, art or film. I thought of all the contributions from actors, musicians and film people that went into my movies over the years and all the time devoted to making them. For awhile the films will live on through showings but sooner or hopefully later someone else will have to carry the torch. It's a dilemma I have yet to solve: What happens to the films when I'm in the great movie theatre in the sky?     One day in the fall of 2002 I was trading in some Cds at Amoeba Music. (I often did this when I needed money for my films.) I saw my friend Esten Lindgren  at the counter and he told me that his dad had 6 months to live! I called Ben a week or so later and made a date to visit him. His spirits were high and I found myself getting very close to him in his final days. We played music and talked about our first meeting and all the movies we had worked on together. He showed me his abstract paintings. I'd known him for years but had never seen them. Why? I thought people should be aware of this body of work; over 100 paintings! I got so inspired that I offered to make a film.  Ben was thrilled by the idea. The filming process began with me dragging all kinds of equipment through his house. I spent quite some time lighting the paintings but they looked shiny. Then I tried reflecting the lights using umbrellas but still couldn't get it right. Finally I took a painting outside on the porch to see how it looked in the bright shade of the sun. Wow this was it; natural light. When I started filming outside,  the wind turned the painting into a pulsating sail  and nearly blew it away. I would have to shoot the movie inside Ben's studio from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm when it was full of daylight.     Ben wasn't getting any better and the commotion was getting a little too much for him. It was decided that I would film in the spring when the weather was nice again. I did take some Polaroids and would stare at them getting ideas for the eventual film. I continued to visit Ben and his wife Eleanor every couple of weeks. Ben was so amazing in his acceptance of his fate. He sure made a point to connect, calling me a couple of days before his passing to tell me he loved me and to encourage me to make the film after he was gone. He said, "I'll see you on the other side." I told him I'd see him next week. I did but unfortunately in a casket at the Russian Orthodox Church where I said my good-bye.     I shot the film over the next 6 months. I wanted to call it "Ben Lindgren's Paintings" so people would be forced to say his name when referring to the film. Then I remembered what Ben had said when I asked him what liberties I could take filming his work. "See What You See," was his answer. So I married the 2 titles for maximum effect; See What You See - Ben Lindgren's Paintings. I took myself out to lunch to celebrate the completion of the shooting stage of the film. As I walked up Mission Street I got lost in a daydream. I could see Ben's face in my mind smiling down at me clear to my soul. I snapped out of it to find I had walked about 5 blocks past the restaurant.